Listening to the news this morning on my daily drive into work, I heard the ubiquitous phrase, “It’s not like it’s rocket science.” This got my noggin to thinking.
I feel sorry for rocket scientists because this phrase puts them in certain conundrums. There are at least two problems these poor guys and gals face.
First, what do they say when they’re talking about something that should be easy? “It’s not like it’s . . . what I do.” That sounds too arrogant. They can’t reel that phrase out in a social setting. They have to adjust the phrase. But adjust it to what? There’s the problem. “It’s not like it’s quantum physics” just doesn’t have the same zip to it.
Second, when a rocket scientist is faced with something he’s unfamiliar with like, say, the automated checkout machine at the grocery store, this cliche can lead to some absurd interchanges.
Automated checkout machine (ACM): “Please scan the item and place it in the bag.”
Rocket Scientist: “I am scanning the item.” [Growing frustrated as he repeatedly swipes a gallon of milk over the scanner plate.] “I’m scanning, dammit, I’m scanning.”
ACM: “Please scan the item and place it in the bag.”
Rocket Scientist: “I’m scanning, you devil woman. You read the scan and I’ll place it in the bag. Deal?” [Scan doesn't register.] “Agh! Scan dammit. Scan dammit. Scan dammit!!!”
Customer waiting in line: “C’mon buddy. Could you hurry it up? This ain’t rocket science, you know?”
Rocket Scientist: “I know it’s not rocket science! If it were, I’d be done by now. You just back off before-”
ACM: “Please scan the item and place it in the bag.”
Next thing we know, the poor fish-out-of-water rocket scientist is punching the machine. All because of a worn-out cliche.
And it is worn out, isn’t it? It’s certainly outdated. Is rocket science really that hard anymore? We launch the space shuttle so often it’s like a Delta Airlines flight leaving Atlanta-Hartsfeld Airport. We’ve launched thousands of satellites, so I think it’s time for a new cliche.
Let’s give the rocket scientists a break.
Sphere: Related Content
No related posts.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I hate those self-serve check out machines – I had to stop in and buy flour, sugar, etc. for a cake I was baking from scratch for the Chinese class I am teaching to Russian immigrants, who don’t speak English, on how to pick up super models. And, I was still so upset with my experience at the grocery store, I botched the normally routine brain surgery I do on abandoned pets. Now, b/c of the damn self-serve scanner, Fido has a stutter.
That’s funny. Now, when are you flying me to NY so that you can buy me beers?
It’s not like…..hitting a curve ball-no…….navigating County Line Road in December-no…….keeping a funny blog-no…..you’re right, nothing else fits. In the year 2525 Rocket science will be as to Beam-me-up Scotty space travel as catapults are to current day rocket science (I knew my standardized test taking skills would come in handy some day), but our descendants will still be using the cliche even though they no longer even get it. That’s how it went for “freezing the balls off a brass monkey” too.
travellinbaen´s last blog ….The Unvarnished Truth About How I (not TB) Got Famous One Time
I don’t think I’ve ever known what the brass monkey means/meant. I’m going to resist the urge to Google it.
It’s better not to know, much funnier that way. However the true meaning DOES make sense, which is nice in these times.
travellinbaen´s last blog ….Cookie Monster, Revisited
This reminds me of a Halloween episode of The Simpsons where they are harvesting brains. Smithers if fumbling and Burns tells him, “It’s not rocket science, it’s brain surgery.”
That’s all I got.
Where the hell is Harmony?
Samsmama´s last blog ….Weekend Wrap Up
“That’s all I got.” That’s all you need. This is one of my “for me” posts.
I don’t know where Harmony is. I was going to ask you the same thing. Harmony?
The alternative to email is regular mail. I sit here with a stack of envelopes and stamps. When someone leaves a comment, I transcribe it and mail it out to you. You don’t get that kind of personalized service on any other blog.
P.S. “Notify me of follow up comments via email.” Is there another option? Can you just call me?
Samsmama´s last blog ….Weekend Wrap Up
Well, you’re right. This blog is all about customer service. Now come to KC so I can buy you a McRib.
Samsmama´s last blog ….Weekend Wrap Up
And Wit strikes again…brilliant post!
It’s not like trying to solve multidimensional differential equations? Yeah, there’s no ring to it.
It could all be a government plot to keep the people of this nation from evolving into intelligent beings. It of course started with them cleverly inserting reality tv into our mainstream media. We thought they met their maximum reduction of intelligence by bringing such idols as Paris and Britney and furthing our sights from more “newsworthy” incidents. I mean, we all had to know when they were and were not wearing panties. Yes, I bet high members of the CIA or other exclusive groups of the governement already have the new “It’s not like it’s rocket science” tagline in full use. They probably even leaked it now and then, just to get a confused reaction from the people. Inside jokes are a bitch.
I missed you guys. And I want a call too! AND a McRib..send me a ticket Samsmama.
Harmony´s last blog ….Death by Chicken? Ummm…No Thanks.