12.45
Yahtze! I’m finally back to a little room. I better sign off now. I’m pretty sure that if the doctor catches me doing anything other than eagerly awaiting his entrance, I’ll be kicked back out to the lobby to start over.
I can’t have that. Spy guy would drive me nuts.
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12.31
Holy cow. A guy has just bellowed at the tv, “Send the troops what they need!” And, of course, he’s sitting right next to me. Now he’s telling me what all is wrong with his country. I keep trying to think myself invisible so he’ll think I’m gone, but it’s not working.
Interesting. He was in counterintelligence in Afghanistan. I thought those people were supposed to be secretive and discreet. Surely there’s a place in the spy manual on not announcing your political views to a crowded waiting room. He just advocated shooting everyone in Congress. I’m starting to get an idea why we can’t win hearts and minds in Afghanistan. This guy can’t win a heart or mind in a Mississippi waiting room.
Now he’s telling me where he works and his life history. I don’t see this guy holding up to torture had he ever been captured. I’m pretty sure he would have spilled the beans without even first being asked.
Holy hell. Nurse, call my name. For the love of God, call my name.
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12.04
Of course Fox “News” is on. They just reported that Democrats are to blame for the earthquake in Samoa. They say they got a statement from the tectonic plates involved and all are outraged at the socialism/fascism going on in America. Oh, and Obama is not a U.S. citizen.
A man just asked how much longer the wait is. The nurse stared, put his chart at the bottom, and shut the window. That was not a good move, my man. Will you hand me that sanitizer on your way back to your seat?
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11.52
Why does every walk-in clinic waiting room look like the waiting room from Beetlejuice? Where are the normal-looking sick people? That dude over there — the one who looks like he’s about to code — I’ll bet he’s not a paragon of normality when he’s feeling ship shape. I don’t want to come off as snobby because I’m not casting judgment. I’m merely remarking that if these people are here, who’s setting up the rides at the carnival?
The receptionist just told me to lay off the hand sanitizer.
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11.43
There’s an 90-year old man shuffling across the floor in flip flops. I’m as egalitarian as the next guy, but those feet do not need to be in flip flops.
Some of these folks need to be in an ER, not a walk in clinic.
I think I’ll go bathe in the hand sanitizer.
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11.32
So, here I am at the doctor’s office. My kids were sick last week. I knew there was no way I’d escape it. I have the immune system of a bubble boy.
I’ll post my thoughts as I wait for 6 hours to see a doctor who will not listen to me past the words “sinus congestion.”
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
There is so much funny in this post I have no clue where to begin. I’ll start with the bubble boy reference. I couldn’t agree more about some people and how they have no business in flip flops. Then right onto the Bettlejuice waiting room with the guy about to code. It was right about then that I had to wipe a tear.
The part about the guy being captured made me pee. But just a little bit, so it’s fine.
Then when you made your way to the exam room I remembered taking Sam to a ped in Florida and there was a large, wall mounted sign that said you were NOT ALLOWED TO SIT IN THE DOCTOR’S CHAIR. Ease up a bit!
And might I suggest some hand sanitizer?
Samsmama´s last blog ….Swine Flu In Jamaica
Here’s a hilarious take on the sanctity of the little room’s stuff.
In Larry’s defense, there was no sign on the wall. And I meant to add, it wasn’t like a written sign. It was a plaque. And it was just like the chair that Larry was spinning on, which likely would not have gone over well had I gotten caught doing it. Which I did.
Samsmama´s last blog ….Swine Flu In Jamaica
The next time you go to the clinic give me a call. I’ll bring sanitizer, two flak jackets and a video camera. Then you’re gonna stand up suddenly at the one hour mark, announce that you are a proud trial lawyer, Michael Moore’s biggest fan, and tired of waiting around capitalist pig health clinics, then start praying to Obama. I’ll get as much video as possible before the mob turns on me for not joining their lynching and then we’ll run for it and then we’ll post the video to the web. It’ll go viral and we’ll be famous. Of course, your virus will go untreated, but we’ll be famous!
travellinbaen´s last blog ….Thursday Pickin Season II, Week 5
That’s a great idea except I’ll be dead and you’ll be rich. But we’ll be famous.
Wow..this is the funniest waiting room I ever read about. Wait… not sure that I’ve read much about them, although I definitely would if they were all this entertaining! Hope everything turned out okay. I’m assuming you just caught what the girls had.
Harmony´s last blog ….The Junk Drawer; What’s New Pussy Cat?
Come down to these here parts and you’ll be amazed at what you see.
Dear Wit,
I worry that you’ve become gravely ill. That some how the boogs got you and are holding you down. *shudder* Boogs, the vile and hideous leech of diseased goo. Do the boogs have you? Do they? If so you need to act on freeing yourself immediately. The consequences of your failing to do so, can lead to uncertain doom. Oh, the ill will of the boogs is treacherous. They’re sly little heathens, ready to pounce at any given moment, even when your not looking. Oh, it’s a nasty affair, it is. One that I hope you rid yourself of shortly.
Best Wishes,
Harmony
Brett Favre back? Screw that..come back!
Harmony´s last blog ….Death by Chicken? Ummm…No Thanks.
Hi Harmony. I appreciate the concern. I’ve just been so busy writing stuff at work that by the time I get home, the computer is the last place I want to be. Hopefully things will soon even out and I can get back to, well, whatever it is I do here.